What is Trauma-Informed Therapy? Understanding Why It Matters
You've probably heard the term "trauma-informed" when searching for a therapist. But what does it actually mean—and why does it matter for your healing journey?
As a psychotherapist, I practice trauma-informed therapy because I understand that past experiences shape how we show up in the world today. Whether or not you identify as having experienced "trauma," a trauma-informed approach creates a safer, more effective therapeutic experience for everyone.
Let me explain what trauma-informed practice really means and why it might be exactly what you're looking for.
What Does "Trauma-Informed" Actually Mean?
Trauma-informed therapy isn't a specific technique—it's a way of understanding and approaching the therapeutic relationship that recognizes the widespread impact of trauma and prioritises safety, choice, and empowerment.
In simple terms: A trauma-informed therapist understands that difficult past experiences affect how you think, feel, and relate to others today. They create a therapeutic environment designed to feel safe rather than retraumatising.
You Don't Need a "Trauma Diagnosis" to Benefit
Here's something important: trauma-informed therapy isn't just for people with PTSD or who've experienced obvious traumatic events.
Trauma can include:
Childhood emotional neglect or invalidation
Bullying or social rejection
Medical procedures or illness
Relationship betrayals
Discrimination or marginalization
Growing up in an unpredictable environment
Loss and grief
Any experience that overwhelmed your ability to cope
If you've ever felt like you're "overreacting" to situations, struggle to trust others, or find yourself shutting down emotionally—a trauma-informed approach can help you understand why.
The Core Principles of Trauma-Informed Therapy
1. Safety First
Everything starts with creating a safe therapeutic environment—physically, emotionally, and psychologically. This means:
You're never forced to talk about anything before you're ready
Clear boundaries and expectations
Predictable, consistent sessions
A space free from judgment
In my practice: I'm transparent about what to expect in therapy, respect your pace, and prioritize your comfort above all else.
2. Trustworthiness and Transparency
Trauma often damages our ability to trust. A trauma-informed therapist:
Is clear and honest about the therapeutic process
Explains what's happening and why
Doesn't have hidden agendas
Follows through on commitments
3. Choice and Control
Trauma often involves a loss of control. Trauma-informed therapy gives you back your agency:
You decide what we talk about
You choose the pace of our work
You have input into treatment goals and methods
"No" is always respected
In practice: I might offer different ways to explore an issue and let you choose what feels right. If something doesn't feel helpful, we try something else.
4. Collaboration and Mutuality
You're not a passive recipient of treatment—you're an active partner in your healing. This means:
Shared decision-making
Your expertise about your own experience is valued
We work together, not therapist "doing therapy to" you
5. Empowerment and Strengths-Based
Rather than focusing on what's "wrong" with you, trauma-informed therapy recognizes:
The incredible strength it took to survive
Your resilience and coping strategies
Your capacity for healing and growth
You're not broken. You adapted to difficult circumstances, and now we're helping you develop new adaptations that serve you better.
How Trauma-Informed Therapy Looks Different in Practice
Traditional Therapy Might Ask:
"What's wrong with you?"
Trauma-Informed Therapy Asks:
"What happened to you?"
This shift changes everything. Instead of treating symptoms as personal failures, we understand them as adaptive responses to difficult experiences.
In My Sessions, This Means:
I don't push you to talk about painful experiences before you're ready. We build safety and resources first. Healing doesn't require reliving trauma in graphic detail.
I pay attention to your nervous system responses. If you seem to shut down or become activated, we slow down and regulate before continuing.
I respect your coping mechanisms. Even behaviors that feel problematic served a purpose once. We work with them, not against them.
I understand that "resistance" is often protection. If you're reluctant to engage with something, there's usually a good reason. We explore that rather than pushing through.
I recognize that trust takes time. I don't expect you to open up immediately or feel comfortable right away. Building safety is part of the work.
Why Trauma-Informed Therapy Works
Research consistently shows that trauma-informed approaches lead to better outcomes because they:
Reduce retraumatisation: Therapy itself doesn't recreate the powerlessness or lack of safety you experienced before
Build genuine safety: Not just intellectually understanding you're safe, but feeling it in your body
Honour your autonomy: Giving you back the control trauma took away
Work with your nervous system: Understanding that healing happens in the body, not just the mind
Create sustainable change: Building on your strengths rather than just managing symptoms
Common Signs You Might Benefit from Trauma-Informed Therapy
You might benefit from a trauma-informed approach if you:
Feel like you're "too much" or need to hide parts of yourself
Struggle to trust others, even people who seem trustworthy
Have strong emotional reactions that feel out of proportion
Shut down or disconnect when stressed
Find yourself people-pleasing or struggling to say no
Experience unexplained anxiety or hypervigilance
Have difficulty feeling safe, even in objectively safe situations
Notice patterns of relationships that repeat painful dynamics
Feel disconnected from your body or emotions
Carry shame about how you cope with stress
None of this means you're broken. It means you're responding to experiences that were overwhelming at the time.
What to Expect in Trauma-Informed Therapy
We Start Slow
Building safety and establishing a trusting relationship comes before diving into painful material. This isn't wasted time—it's essential foundation.
You're in Control
You decide what we work on and when. If something feels too much, we slow down or switch gears. Your "no" is always respected.
We Work with Your Body
Trauma lives in the nervous system. We pay attention to physical sensations, grounding, and regulation—not just talking about feelings.
No Forced Disclosure
You never have to share details of traumatic experiences unless and until you want to. Healing doesn't require graphic retelling.
We Build Resources First
Before processing difficult experiences, we develop coping skills, grounding techniques, and internal resources to keep you stable.
Progress Isn't Linear
Healing from trauma takes time and rarely moves in a straight line. We honor your pace and celebrate small wins.
Trauma-Informed Therapy and Other Approaches
My integrative approach means I combine trauma-informed principles with various therapeutic modalities:
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Helps you develop psychological flexibility and move toward your values even in the presence of difficult emotions
Person-Centered Therapy: Provides the unconditional positive regard and safety that trauma-informed work requires
Gestalt Therapy: Supports present-moment awareness and reconnection with your body and emotions
Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores how past experiences shape current patterns without forcing premature disclosure
Narrative Therapy: Helps you separate yourself from trauma-based identities and rewrite your story
Creative Therapies: Offers ways to process experiences that words alone can't capture
All of these approaches, when delivered through a trauma-informed lens, create a comprehensive path to healing.
Finding a Trauma-Informed Therapist
When searching for a therapist, look for someone who:
✓ Explicitly mentions trauma-informed practice
✓ Emphasizes safety and your autonomy
✓ Doesn't pressure you to disclose details immediately
✓ Respects your pace and boundaries
✓ Understands that "difficult" behaviors are often protective
✓ Works collaboratively rather than prescriptively
✓ Has training in trauma-specific modalities
In our initial consultation, notice:
Do you feel heard and respected?
Does the therapist explain what to expect?
Are you given choices about how to proceed?
Does it feel safe to say no or express concerns?
Trust your gut. Your nervous system knows what feels safe.
The Bottom Line: You Deserve Trauma-Informed Care
Whether you identify as having experienced trauma or simply want a therapeutic approach that prioritizes safety, respect, and your autonomy, trauma-informed therapy offers a path to healing that honors your experience and empowers your recovery.
Healing is possible. You don't have to do it alone. And you deserve a therapeutic relationship that feels safe from the very beginning.
Ready to Experience Trauma-Informed Therapy?
I provide integrative, trauma-informed therapy for adults navigating anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, life transitions, and the ongoing effects of difficult experiences.
What you can expect:
A safe, non-judgmental space
Respect for your pace and boundaries
Collaborative, empowering therapy
Integration of multiple evidence-based approaches
Genuine care for your wellbeing
I'm currently accepting new clients. Contact me today for a free consultation to see if we're a good fit.
Your healing matters. Let's talk.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to have PTSD to benefit from trauma-informed therapy?
Not at all. Trauma-informed therapy benefits anyone who's experienced overwhelming or difficult life events, even if you don't meet criteria for PTSD.
Will I have to talk about traumatic experiences in detail?
No. Healing doesn't require graphic retelling. We work at your pace and only explore what feels safe and helpful.
How is trauma-informed therapy different from regular therapy?
It prioritizes safety, choice, and collaboration. It understands symptoms as adaptive responses rather than pathology, and it works with your nervous system, not just your thoughts.
How long does trauma-informed therapy take?
This varies greatly depending on your goals and experiences. Some people benefit from short-term work, while others engage in longer-term therapy. We'll discuss this together.
What if I don't feel safe with a therapist?
Trust your instincts. A good trauma-informed therapist welcomes conversations about safety and fit. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to find a different therapist.
What Makes Therapy Work? The Key Factors for Real Change in Counselling and Psychotherapy
Are you wondering if therapy will actually help you? You're not alone. Many people considering counselling or psychotherapy ask themselves: "Will this really work for me?" Understanding what makes therapy effective can help you feel more confident in taking that first step toward change.
As a psychotherapist, I've witnessed clients transform their lives through therapy. But what actually creates lasting change? Let's explore the essential factors that make counselling work and how you can maximise your therapeutic journey.
The Therapeutic Relationship: Your Foundation for Change
The most important factor in successful therapy isn't the technique, it's the relationship between you and your therapist.
Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship (also called the "therapeutic alliance") accounts for up to 30% of positive outcomes in counselling. This means finding a therapist you trust, feel comfortable with, and connect with is crucial to your success.
What Makes a Strong Therapeutic Relationship?
Trust and safety: Feeling safe enough to be vulnerable without judgment
Genuine empathy: A therapist who truly understands your experience
Collaborative approach: Working together as partners in your healing
Consistent presence: Reliability and attunement to your needs
When you feel heard, understood, and accepted by your therapist, you're more likely to open up, explore difficult emotions, and make meaningful changes in your life.
Your Readiness for Change: The Motivation Factor
Therapy works best when you're ready to engage in the process.
While it's normal to feel nervous or uncertain about starting therapy, your willingness to:
Explore uncomfortable feelings and patterns
Be honest about your struggles
Try new perspectives and behaviours
Commit to the therapeutic process
...significantly impacts your outcomes. You don't need to have all the answers or feel completely ready—but some openness to change makes all the difference.
Signs You're Ready for Therapy:
You recognise that something needs to change
You're willing to look at your role in patterns
You're open to exploring your emotions
You can commit to regular sessions
You're seeking understanding, not just quick fixesThe Right Therapeutic Approach for Your Needs
Consistency and Commitment: The Power of Showing Up
Real change in therapy takes time and consistent effort.
While some people experience relief after just a few sessions, deeper, lasting transformation typically requires:
Regular attendance (weekly sessions are ideal for most people)
Time between sessions to practice new insights
Patience with the non-linear nature of healing
Willingness to stay engaged even when it's hard
Think of therapy like going to the gym—one session feels good, but consistent practice creates lasting change.
Between-Session Work: Taking Therapy Into Your Life
The most effective therapy extends beyond the counselling room.
What happens between your therapy sessions matters enormously:
Reflecting on insights from your sessions
Noticing patterns in your daily life
Practicing new coping strategiesJournaling or completing therapeutic exercises
Being mindful of your emotions and triggers
Clients who actively engage with therapy between sessions—even in small ways—tend to see faster and more sustainable results.
Your Goals and Expectations: Clarity Creates Progress
Having clear (but flexible) goals helps therapy stay focused and effective.
When you start counselling, it helps to identify:
What you want to change or understand
What success looks like for you
What specific issues are most pressing
How you'll know when you're making progress
Your goals might shift as therapy progresses—and that's completely normal. The key is having some direction while remaining open to discovery.
Creating a Safe Space: The Importance of Non-Judgmental Support
Healing happens when you feel completely accepted.
One of the most powerful factors in therapy is experiencing unconditional positive regard—being fully accepted without judgment. This safe space allows you to:
Share your deepest fears and shame
Explore parts of yourself you've hidden
Make mistakes without criticism
Be vulnerable without fear
When you trust that your therapist truly sees you without judgment, you can do the deep work necessary for real transformation.
Timing and Life Circumstances: When You're Ready
Sometimes the timing of therapy matters as much as the therapy itself.You're more likely to benefit from counselling when:
You have some emotional capacity to engage
Your life circumstances allow for regular sessions
You have at least minimal support outside therapy
You're not in acute crisis (though crisis counselling can help stabilize you first)
That said, there's rarely a "perfect" time for therapy—sometimes you just need to start.
Finding the Right Therapist for You
The "best" therapist is the one who's best for YOU.
When searching for a counsellor or psychotherapist, consider:
Their therapeutic approach and specializations
Their experience with issues similar to yours
Whether you feel comfortable with them
Practical factors (location, availability, fees)
Your gut feeling about whether they're a good fit
Don't settle for a therapist who doesn't feel right—the relationship is too important to compromise.
Ready to Start Your Journey?
Change is possible, and therapy can be the catalyst you need.
If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, or simply feeling stuck, counselling can help you understand yourself more deeply and create lasting change.
The factors that make therapy work—a strong therapeutic relationship, your commitment to the process, the right approach for your needs, and a safe, non-judgmental space—are all within reach.
You deserve support. You deserve to feel better. You deserve a therapist who truly listens.
If you're ready to explore how therapy can help you, I invite you to reach out for a free consultation. Let's talk about what you're experiencing and whether we'd be a good fit to work together.
Talk to potential therapists about what you're struggling with. A good therapist will explain whether their approach is a good fit for your needs and may recommend alternatives if it's not.
Ready to experience the transformative power of therapy? Contact me today to schedule your free consultation and take the first step toward meaningful change.
What Your Melbourne Therapist Wants You to Know (But Might Not Always Say Out Loud)
As a Melbourne-based psychotherapist and counsellor, I've had the privilege of walking alongside many people through their healing journey. Whether you're in Fitzroy, Richmond, St Kilda, East Malvern or anywhere across our beautiful city, there are universal truths about the therapy process that I wish every client—past, present, and future—could truly understand.
After practicing here in Melbourne, from the CBD to the outer suburbs, I've noticed that clients often carry the same worries, fears, and misconceptions about therapy. Today, I want to share some insights that might help you feel more comfortable about taking that first step, or continuing on your therapeutic journey right here in our city.
We're Not Judging You (Really, We're Not)
This might be the biggest misconception I encounter in my Melbourne practice. Whether you're dealing with anxiety about work pressure in Collins Street, relationship difficulties in your Toorak apartment, or trauma from your past growing up in Melbourne's western suburbs, clients often worry that we're silently judging their choices, behaviours, or experiences.
Here's the truth: we're not.
That embarrassing thing you did last weekend? That family secret you've never told anyone? That addiction you're struggling with? That mistake that keeps you awake at night? We've heard it before, and our job is to create a safe, non-judgmental space—not to be the moral police.
As therapists practicing in Melbourne, we see the full spectrum of human experience. We understand the pressures of city life, the isolation that can come with urban living, and the unique challenges that face Melburnians—from cost of living stress to weather-related seasonal depression. Your struggles don't shock us; they make you human.
Healing Isn't Linear (Especially in Melbourne's Ups and Downs)
If you've lived in Melbourne for any length of time, you know our city's famous "four seasons in one day" weather pattern. Healing from trauma, grief, anxiety, or depression follows a similar unpredictable pattern—and that's completely normal.
In my practice, I regularly see clients who've made incredible progress, only to feel like they've taken steps backward when they have a difficult day or week. Maybe it's triggered by a tough day at work in the CBD, a relationship conflict, or even something as simple as a particularly grey Melbourne winter day affecting your mood.
Progress in therapy looks more like Melbourne's laneways—full of twists, turns, and unexpected discoveries—rather than a straight tram line from Point A to Point B. Some days you'll feel strong and optimistic. Other days, you might feel like you're back at square one. Both are part of the healing process.
Bad days don't erase your progress. If you have a panic attack after months of feeling better, or if you find yourself crying in your car after a triggering event, it doesn't mean you've failed or that therapy isn't working. It means you're human, living a real life in a complex city with real stressors and challenges.
You Don't Have to Wait Until You're "Ready" to Start Therapy in Melbourne
One of the most common things I hear from new clients in my Melbourne practice is: "I probably should have come sooner, but I kept waiting until I felt ready."
Here's what I want every Melburnian, heck every Australian, to know: there's no perfect time to start therapy. You don't need to have your life completely falling apart to justify seeking help, and you don't need to have everything figured out before you walk through our door.
Whether you're a student at Melbourne University struggling with academic pressure, a young professional in Southbank dealing with career stress, a parent in the suburbs feeling overwhelmed, or a retiree in Brighton facing life transitions—you can start therapy exactly where you are.
You don't need to:
Have a complete breakdown first
Be able to articulate exactly what's wrong
Have tried everything else
Be "sick enough" to deserve help
Wait until you have more time or money
Fix yourself before getting help
The therapeutic process can begin with something as simple as: "I don't feel like myself lately" or "I think I need someone to talk to." That's enough. That's more than enough.
We Think About You Between Sessions (In the Most Professional Way)
This might surprise some clients, but we do think about you between our weekly or fortnightly sessions. Not in a way that violates professional boundaries, but in a caring, professional manner that helps us provide better support.
After you leave my Melbourne practice, I might reflect on something you shared, consider a new therapeutic approach that could help you, or think about resources that might be beneficial. I might wonder how you're handling that job interview you were nervous about, or how you're managing that family conflict we discussed.
This professional care extends beyond our Malvern East based or Telehealth sessions. When I'm walking through the Royal Botanic Gardens, I might think of a mindfulness technique that could help a client dealing with anxiety. When I read about mental health resources available in Melbourne, I consider which clients might benefit.
This reflection and consideration is part of what makes therapy effective. We're not just present during your session and then completely disconnect until next week—your progress and wellbeing matter to us as professionals.
You Don't Have to Perform for Us
Melbourne has a reputation for being a bit reserved, and I often see this show up in therapy sessions. Clients sometimes feel pressure to be articulate, insightful, or emotionally "put together" during our time together. They worry about crying, being angry, or not having breakthrough moments every session.
Let me be clear: you don't need to perform for us.
You don't need to:
Have profound insights every session
Be eloquent when discussing your feelings
Come to therapy with your emotions neatly organized
Have breakthrough moments on schedule
Avoid crying or getting upset
Be grateful or positive all the time
Make progress at a certain pace
Some of my most meaningful sessions with Melbourne clients have been ones where they simply sat and cried. Or sessions where they said, "I don't know what to talk about today." Or sessions where they were angry at me, at themselves, or at their circumstances.
Sometimes the most therapeutic thing you can do is just show up authentically—messy, confused, angry, sad, or overwhelmed. That's not just okay; that's often where the real work happens.
We Can Handle Your Pain (We're Trained for This)
As a trauma-informed therapist practicing in Melbourne, I want you to know that your pain—no matter how intense, complicated, or overwhelming it feels, won't break us. We're specifically trained to hold space for difficult emotions and traumatic experiences.
Your trauma history, your suicidal thoughts, your rage, your grief, your addiction, your family secrets, we can handle all of it. That's literally what we went to school for, what we've trained for, and what we do every day in our Melbourne practices.
I've worked with clients dealing with:
Complex trauma and PTSD
Severe depression and suicidal ideation
Substance abuse and addiction
Domestic violence and abuse
Grief and complicated loss
Anxiety disorders and panic attacks
Eating disorders and body image issues
Workplace trauma and bullying
Your particular combination of struggles doesn't scare us or overwhelm us. We have professional training, ongoing supervision, and personal therapy to ensure we can show up fully for your healing process without becoming overwhelmed ourselves.
You're not "too much" for therapy. You're not "too broken" to be helped. Your pain is not a burden—it's the raw material we work with to help you heal.
It's Okay to Disagree with Us (Really)
Good therapy happens when you feel safe enough to be completely honest—and that includes being honest when you disagree with something we've said or suggested. We're human beings, and sometimes we get things wrong, misunderstand, or suggest something that doesn't feel right for you.
In my Melbourne practice, I actually encourage clients to push back when something doesn't resonate. If I suggest a coping strategy that feels impossible, say so. If I interpret something in a way that doesn't feel accurate, tell me. If you think I'm moving too fast or too slow, let me know.
This kind of honest feedback makes therapy more effective. It helps us understand you better and adjust our approach to better serve your needs. It also helps you practice advocating for yourself—a skill that will serve you well beyond our therapy sessions.
Some of the most important therapeutic breakthroughs I've witnessed have come from moments when clients felt safe enough to tell me I was wrong about something. That's not disrespect—that's engagement and trust.
The Melbourne Mental Health Landscape: You Have Options
Melbourne is fortunate to have a robust mental health community. From the CBD to the outer suburbs, there are therapists specializing in everything from trauma and addiction to couples counseling and eating disorders. If our therapeutic relationship doesn't feel like the right fit, there are other options.
Types of mental health professionals available in Melbourne:
Clinical psychologists
Counselling psychologists
Psychotherapists and counsellors
Social workers
Psychiatrists
Mental health nurses
Melbourne-specific mental health resources:
Beyond Blue (Melbourne-founded organization)
Lifeline Australia
Melbourne-based community health centers
University counseling services (Melbourne Uni, RMIT, etc.)
Employee assistance programs through many Melbourne workplaces
Medicare support: Many Melburnians can access subsidized therapy through Medicare Mental Health Plans, which allow for up to 10 subsidized sessions with eligible mental health professionals.
You're Already Doing Better Than You Think
Here's what I see from my perspective as a Melbourne therapist that you might not see from your perspective as someone struggling: the fact that you're reading this, considering therapy, or already engaged in therapeutic work shows incredible strength and self-awareness.
Think about it:
You recognized that you need support (many people never get here)
You're willing to be vulnerable with a stranger
You're investing time and energy in your mental health
You're facing difficult emotions instead of just numbing them
You keep showing up, even when it's hard
These aren't small things. These are acts of courage that happen every day in therapy offices across Melbourne, from Fitzroy to Frankston.
I see clients who beat themselves up for still struggling with anxiety after months of therapy, not recognizing that they're now able to leave their house when they previously couldn't. I see clients who criticize themselves for crying in session, not realizing that they're finally allowing themselves to feel emotions they've suppressed for years.
Your progress might not look like what you expected, but it's happening. Sometimes the biggest victory is simply surviving a difficult week. Sometimes progress looks like asking for help instead of suffering in silence. Sometimes it's learning to sit with discomfort instead of immediately trying to fix or escape it.
Addressing Melbourne-Specific Mental Health Challenges
Living in Melbourne comes with unique stressors and challenges that I see regularly in my practice:
Seasonal Affective Challenges: Our infamous grey winters can significantly impact mood and energy levels. Many Melbourne clients struggle with seasonal depression or worsening anxiety during the colder months.
Housing and Cost of Living Stress: Melbourne's competitive rental market and rising cost of living create ongoing stress for many residents, contributing to anxiety and relationship conflicts.
Social Isolation in a Big City: Despite being surrounded by millions of people, many Melburnians experience profound loneliness and isolation, particularly those new to the city or going through major life transitions.
Work Culture and Career Pressure: Melbourne's competitive job market and long commuting times can contribute to burnout, anxiety, and work-related stress.
Traffic and Commute Stress: Whether you're dealing with crowded trains or sitting in traffic on the West Gate Bridge, Melbourne's transport challenges can compound daily stress levels.
These aren't character flaws—they're legitimate environmental stressors that affect mental health. Acknowledging and addressing these Melbourne-specific challenges is part of effective therapy in our city.
Cultural Considerations in Melbourne Therapy
Melbourne is one of the world's most multicultural cities, and this diversity enriches our therapeutic community. However, it also means that effective therapy must be culturally sensitive and aware.
In my practice, I regularly work with clients from diverse cultural backgrounds, including:
First and second-generation immigrants navigating identity questions
International students adjusting to life in Melbourne
Indigenous Australians dealing with intergenerational trauma
LGBTI+ individuals seeking affirming support
People from culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) backgrounds
Good therapy in Melbourne means understanding how cultural background, family expectations, language barriers, and migration experiences impact mental health. It means recognizing that mental health stigma varies across cultures and adjusting approaches accordingly.
What This Means for Your Therapy Journey in Melbourne
If you're considering therapy in Melbourne, here's what I want you to take away from this:
You deserve support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety about living in our fast-paced city, grief over losses, trauma from your past, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges—you deserve professional support.
Therapy is for everyone. You don't need to be in crisis or have a diagnosed mental illness to benefit from therapy. Many of my Melbourne clients come to therapy for personal growth, better relationships, career decisions, or simply to have a space to process life's complexities.
Finding the right fit matters. Melbourne has many excellent therapists, and finding one whose approach and personality work well with you is important. Don't be afraid to try a few different therapists until you find the right match.
Investment in mental health pays dividends. Therapy is an investment in yourself that impacts every area of your life—your relationships, work performance, physical health, and overall life satisfaction.
Taking the Next Step in Melbourne
If you're ready to begin or continue your therapeutic journey here in Melbourne, consider these practical steps:
1. Determine your needs: Are you looking for short-term support for a specific issue, or longer-term therapy for ongoing challenges?
2. Consider logistics: Do you prefer in-person sessions in the CBD, telehealth from home, or a local practitioner in your suburb?
3. Check your finances: Investigate Medicare Mental Health Plans, private health insurance coverage, or sliding scale options.
4. Research therapists: Look for practitioners who specialize in your particular concerns and whose approach resonates with you.
5. Make contact: Most therapists offer brief initial conversations to discuss whether you might be a good fit for each other.
A Personal Note from Your Melbourne Therapist
As someone who's chosen to practice therapy in this incredible city, I'm constantly amazed by the resilience, creativity, and determination of Melbourne residents. Whether you're a lifelong Melburnian or new to our city, you're part of a community that values growth, creativity, and authenticity.
Seeking therapy doesn't mean you're broken or weak—it means you're committed to living your best life. In a city known for its arts, culture, and innovation, prioritizing your mental health is just another way of investing in your creative potential and personal growth.
Your struggles are valid, your pain matters, and your commitment to healing is something to be proud of. Every day in therapy offices across Melbourne—from the CBD to the suburbs—people are doing the brave work of facing their challenges, processing their pain, and building better lives.
You're not alone in this journey. Whether you're dealing with anxiety about your career, grief over a loss, trauma from your past, or simply the everyday challenges of living in a complex world, support is available right here in Melbourne.
The fact that you've read this far tells me you're already on the path to healing. Trust yourself, trust the process, and know that whatever brought you to consider therapy is valid and worth addressing.
Your healing matters—not just to you, but to our entire Melbourne community. When you heal, you contribute to a healthier, more compassionate city for all of us.
Understanding Different Types of Grief: A Melbourne Therapist's Guide
In my previous post, I explored how sharing the experience of grief is an effective way to not only face our grief but process it. Today, I want to dive deeper into something I see regularly in my practice: the many different faces grief can wear. Understanding that grief isn't a one-size-fits-all experience can be incredibly validating for those who feel like their grief doesn't "look right" or follow expected patterns.
Grief is as individual as the person experiencing it, yet there are recognizable patterns that can help us understand what we or our loved ones might be going through. Let's explore the various types of grief that show up in our lives.
The Grief We Recognize
Traditional Grief
This is what most people think of when they hear the word "grief"—the sorrow that follows the death of someone we love. It's the grief that gets sympathy cards, time off work, and casseroles from neighbours. While deeply painful, traditional grief is socially recognised and supported.
But even within traditional grief, there are variations:
Acute grief: The intense, overwhelming sorrow in the immediate aftermath of loss
Integrated grief: When the pain softens and we learn to carry our love for the person alongside the reality of their absence
Anniversary grief: The renewed intensity that often comes around significant dates
Anticipatory Grief
This is the grief we feel before a loss actually occurs. It might show up when:
A loved one receives a terminal diagnosis
Watching a parent struggle with dementia
Facing the end of a marriage
Preparing for children to leave home
Anticipating job loss or major life changes
Anticipatory grief can feel confusing because you're mourning someone or something that's still present. Many people feel guilty about this type of grief, but it's a natural response to impending loss.
The Grief That Hides
Disenfranchised Grief
This is perhaps the loneliest type of grief—loss that isn't socially recognized or supported. Examples include:
Grief over a miscarriage, especially early pregnancy loss
Mourning the loss of an ex-partner
Grieving a pet's death
Sorrow over infertility
Grief related to addiction or mental health struggles
Loss of someone who died by suicide (often complicated by stigma)
Workplace grief after layoffs or organisational changes
Being a single parent
Not having access to mobaility in society due to our social standing/stigma/lack of finances
Disenfranchised grief can be particularly difficult because it lacks the social support systems that help us process other types of loss.
Ambiguous Loss
Psychologist Pauline Boss coined this term to describe losses that lack clarity or closure. There are two types:
Physical ambiguity: When someone is physically absent but psychologically present (missing persons, deployed military, incarcerated family members, a missing person, where you presume that person has died as it has been so long, but there is never a body found)
Psychological ambiguity: When someone is physically present but psychologically absent (dementia, severe mental illness, addiction, traumatic brain injury)
Ambiguous loss is particularly challenging because there's no clear endpoint—no funeral, no closure, no defined mourning period.
The Grief That Lingers
Complicated Grief
Sometimes called prolonged or persistent complex bereavement, this occurs when grief becomes stuck. This can happen when someone experiences multiple losses close together, like a job loss and then two deaths close together. Or when the loss is traumatic. Unlike the natural ebb and flow of typical grief, complicated grief remains intense and doesn't soften over time. Signs might include:
Intense grief reactions lasting more than a year without improvement
Inability to accept the reality of the loss
Extreme avoidance of reminders of the deceased
Complete inability to move forward with life
Intense yearning and searching for the deceased
Complicated grief isn't a sign of weakness or "doing grief wrong"—it's a recognized condition that responds well to specialized therapy.
Cumulative Grief
This occurs when someone experiences multiple losses in a short period, or when unresolved grief from past losses gets triggered by new ones. It's like emotional compound interest—each new loss makes the previous ones feel heavier too.
I often see this in:
Healthcare workers who've lost multiple patients
People who've experienced several deaths in their family within a short timeframe
Those dealing with multiple life changes simultaneously (job loss, divorce, and death, for example)
The Hidden Varieties of Modern Grief
Collective Grief
We're currently living through unprecedented levels of collective grief—shared losses that affect entire communities, countries, or even the world. Examples include:
Pandemic-related losses (lives, normalcy, milestones)
Climate grief over environmental destruction
Cultural grief over social changes or political events
Community grief after mass traumatic events
Identity Grief
This is mourning the loss of who you used to be or who you thought you'd become:
Grief over lost abilities due to illness or injury
Mourning career dreams that didn't materialize
Grieving the person you were before trauma
Loss of identity after major life transitions (retirement, empty nest, divorce)
Grief over lost innocence or changed worldview
Fertility Grief
The grief surrounding fertility challenges is profound and often unrecognized:
Mourning the loss of genetic connection
Grieving each failed treatment cycle
Loss of the envisioned family experience
Grief over the simplicity others seem to have with conception
Secondary infertility grief when subsequent pregnancies don't occur
Developmental Grief
This occurs when life doesn't unfold as expected:
Not achieving expected milestones by certain ages
Grieving the "normal" childhood you didn't have
Mourning developmental experiences missed due to illness, trauma, or family circumstances
Loss of innocence through early exposure to adult problems
The Grief We Don't Name
Workplace Grief
Often overlooked, workplace grief can be significant:
Job loss, especially unexpected termination
Company culture changes or reorganizations
Retirement grief—losing identity, purpose, and community
Grief when a workplace mentor leaves or dies
Loss of career trajectory due to external circumstances
Relational Grief
Mourning relationships while people are still alive:
Grief over a friendship that's changed or ended
Mourning family relationships damaged by conflict
Loss of the parent-child relationship you wished you had
Grief over children growing up and changing
Mourning the marriage you thought you had before infidelity or other betrayals
Spiritual Grief
Loss of faith or spiritual connection:
Questioning beliefs after traumatic events
Feeling abandoned by God or the universe
Loss of community when leaving a religious organization
Grief over spiritual practices that no longer feel meaningful
Why Understanding Types of Grief Matters
Recognizing these different types of grief serves several important purposes:
Validation: Understanding that your grief "type" is real and recognized can be profoundly validating. You're not overreacting, being dramatic, or taking too long to heal.
Permission: Different types of grief may require different approaches and timelines. Knowing your grief type can give you permission to grieve in the way that feels right for you.
Connection: Realizing others experience similar types of loss can help you feel less alone in your experience.
Treatment: Different types of grief may benefit from different therapeutic approaches. Understanding your grief can help you and your therapist choose the most helpful interventions.
Moving Forward with Your Grief
Regardless of what type of grief you're experiencing, some universal principles apply:
Your grief is valid. Whether it's recognized by society or not, whether it follows traditional patterns or not, your grief matters.
Healing isn't linear. Grief doesn't follow a neat timeline or predictable stages. Expect setbacks, waves, and unexpected triggers.
You don't have to grieve alone. Even if your specific type of grief isn't widely understood, support is available. Sometimes the most healing conversations happen with others who've experienced similar losses.
Different doesn't mean disordered. Just because your grief doesn't look like what others expect doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.
Professional help is available. If your grief feels overwhelming, stuck, or is significantly impacting your daily functioning, a grief-informed therapist can provide valuable support.
Creating Space for All Types of Grief
As a society, we need to expand our understanding of grief beyond death-related loss. We need to create space for:
The parent grieving their child's mental health diagnosis
The young adult mourning climate change
The employee grieving a toxic workplace they had to leave
The person mourning their pre-trauma self
The individual grieving relationships that never were what they hoped
When we acknowledge the full spectrum of human grief experiences, we create a more compassionate world—one where people don't have to suffer alone with losses that "don't count" or grief that doesn't fit neat categories.
Finding Your Grief Story
If you're reading this and recognizing your own grief experience in these descriptions, know that understanding what type of grief you're experiencing is just the first step. The real work—and the real healing—happens in the gentle, patient process of learning to carry your loss while still engaging with life.
Your grief deserves attention, care, and support, regardless of what type it is or how it compares to others' experiences. In a world that often rushes to fix or minimize difficult emotions, choosing to honor your grief—in all its complexity—is an act of courage and self-compassion.
The Shared Weight of Grief: Finding Connection in Our Collective Sorrow
Grief can be experienced in the collective
We are living through an age of grief. Turn on the news, scroll through social media, or simply look around your community, and you'll see it everywhere—a world saturated with loss. Climate anxiety, social injustice, economic uncertainty, global conflicts, and the lingering effects of a pandemic have created what I call a "grief ecosystem"—an environment where sorrow, uncertainty, and loss have become the backdrop of daily life.
Yet here's what I've learned from walking alongside people in their darkest moments: while each person's grief is as unique as their fingerprint, the fundamental experience of grieving is profoundly universal. And in recognizing this shared humanity, we find not just comfort, but the seeds of healing—both individual and collective.
The New Face of Grief
Young people today are inheriting a world that seems to grieve openly. They're witnessing environmental destruction, political division, social unrest, and economic instability at a scale previous generations couldn't have imagined. But they're also experiencing something remarkable: they're more willing to name their grief, to feel it openly, and to seek connection in their pain.
This generation doesn't just grieve individual losses—though those are profound and real. They grieve for futures that feel uncertain, for a planet in crisis, for systems that seem broken, for dreams that feel out of reach. They carry what researchers call "anticipatory grief"—mourning losses that haven't yet occurred but feel inevitable.
Similarly, unlike ancient civilisations that grieved in community and through ritual, we as a culture have moved very far away from this.
The Paradox of Unique Yet Universal Grief
Here's the beautiful contradiction at the heart of human grief: no two people grieve exactly the same way, yet we all navigate the same emotional landscape. Your grief over a lost relationship will feel different from someone else's grief over the loss of a parent, which will feel different from a community's grief over environmental destruction. The details, the triggers, the timeline—all unique.
But the fundamental emotions? The sense of disorientation when the world suddenly feels unsafe? The anger that comes in waves? The bargaining, the numbness, the gradual rebuilding of meaning? These are the common threads that bind us all.
When we acknowledge this paradox, something powerful happens. We can honor the specificity of each person's pain while recognizing that we're all walking variations of the same difficult path. We can sit with someone in their unique sorrow and say, "I may not know exactly what you're feeling, but I know what it's like to feel lost in grief."
Why Our World Seems to Generate Grief
Our modern world has created unprecedented conditions for widespread grief:
Information Overload: We're exposed to more loss, trauma, and suffering than any generation in history. Every tragedy, every injustice, every crisis is instantly accessible, creating what psychologists call "secondary trauma"—grief from witnessing others' pain.
Disconnection: Despite being more "connected" than ever, many people report feeling profoundly isolated. When grief strikes, this disconnection amplifies the pain, leaving people to navigate loss without adequate community support.
Rapid Change: The pace of change in our world means we're constantly losing familiar systems, environments, and ways of life. We grieve not just people, but places, traditions, and the sense of stability our ancestors took for granted.
Future Anxiety: Young people especially carry grief for futures that feel threatened—career prospects, environmental stability, social progress. They're mourning losses that exist more in possibility than reality, but the pain is no less real.
The Healing Power of Collective Recognition
But here's where hope enters the picture. When we recognize grief as a shared human experience, we create space for collective healing. We stop seeing our pain as evidence of personal failure and start seeing it as evidence of our humanity.
In my practice, I've witnessed the transformative power of what I call "grief witnessing"—when people realize they're not alone in their sorrow. There's profound relief in discovering that your seemingly impossible grief is actually a normal response to abnormal circumstances.
Coming Together: A Path Forward
So how do we move forward? How do we transform a world that seems to generate grief into one that can hold and heal it?
Create Grief-Conscious Communities: We need spaces—online and offline—where people can name their losses without judgment. Whether it's environmental grief, economic anxiety, or personal loss, we need communities that understand grief as a natural response to living in turbulent times.
Practice Collective Care: Individual therapy is important, but we also need collective approaches to healing. Community support groups, shared rituals of mourning, and collective action can transform grief from an isolating experience into a connecting one.
Normalize Grief Talk: We need to make grief literacy as common as mental health awareness. Young people especially need to understand that feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world isn't pathological—it's human.
Channel Grief into Action: Some of the most powerful social movements have emerged from collective grief. When we grieve together, we can also envision and work toward better futures together.
Honor the Both/And: We can hold space for both despair and hope, both individual uniqueness and universal experience, both the reality of loss and the possibility of renewal.
A Message of Hope
To anyone reading this who feels overwhelmed by the grief in our world—yours and others'—please know this: your grief is both completely yours and completely shared. You're not too sensitive for feeling deeply about the state of things. You're not broken for struggling with loss that others seem to handle easily.
You're human. And in a world that often feels like it's forgetting how to be human together, your capacity to grieve—to feel deeply, to care profoundly—is actually a form of resistance and hope.
Grief, when held collectively, becomes something more than individual pain. It becomes a call for connection, a demand for change, and a foundation for building the more compassionate world we all deserve.
If you're struggling with grief—whether personal loss or the weight of living in difficult times—please feel free to get in touch to organise a session with me via a brief 15 minute phone call.