How to Know When It's Time for Therapy: 12 Signs You Shouldn't Ignore
You've been thinking about therapy for a while. Maybe months. Maybe years.
But you keep wondering: "Do I really need therapy? Isn't this just normal life stress? Other people have it worse. Maybe I should just be stronger."
Sound familiar?
As a psychotherapist in Elsternwick and Malvern East, I hear these questions constantly. And here's what I want you to know: if you're asking whether you need therapy, that's often a sign that you do.
You don't have to be in crisis to deserve support. You don't have to have a diagnosis. You don't have to be "bad enough" to justify getting help.
Let me help you understand when therapy can help—and why waiting for crisis isn't the answer.
The Myth of "Bad Enough"
One of the biggest barriers to seeking therapy is the belief that you're not struggling enough to deserve help.
People tell themselves:
"Other people have it worse"
"I should be able to handle this"
"It's not that bad"
"I don't have a 'real' problem"
"I just need to try harder"
Here's the truth: Therapy isn't only for crisis or severe mental illness.
Therapy is for anyone who wants to:
Understand themselves better
Feel less stuck
Improve relationships
Process difficult experiences
Develop better coping strategies
Navigate life transitions
Break unhelpful patterns
You don't wait until your car completely breaks down to get it serviced. Why wait for a mental health crisis?
12 Clear Signs It's Time for Therapy
1. You're Struggling to Function in Daily Life
What this looks like:
Difficulty getting out of bed
Struggling to complete basic tasks (showering, eating, cleaning)
Missing work or calling in sick frequently
Avoiding social obligations and responsibilities
Feeling overwhelmed by everyday activities
Why it matters:
When daily functioning becomes difficult, it's a clear sign you need support. This isn't laziness or weakness—it's your system telling you something needs attention.
2. Your Mood Feels Stuck or Overwhelming
What this looks like:
Persistent sadness, emptiness, or numbness
Feeling anxious most days
Constant irritability or anger
Mood swings you can't control
Feeling hopeless about the future
Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
Why it matters:
Occasional bad moods are normal. Persistent, unchanging, or overwhelming emotions indicate something deeper that therapy can address.
3. You're Using Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
What this looks like:
Drinking alcohol more than you'd like
Using substances to manage feelings
Emotional eating or restricting food
Excessive shopping or spending
Compulsive behaviors (checking, cleaning, etc.)
Self-harm or destructive behaviors
Why it matters:
These coping mechanisms provide temporary relief but create bigger problems. Therapy helps you develop healthier ways to manage difficult emotions.
4. Relationships Are Consistently Difficult
What this looks like:
Same conflicts repeating in different relationships
Difficulty trusting people or getting close
Feeling lonely even when surrounded by others
Constant misunderstandings or communication breakdowns
Pattern of choosing unavailable or unhealthy partners
Struggling to set or maintain boundaries
Why it matters:
Relationship patterns often stem from attachment wounds, unprocessed trauma, or learned behaviors. Therapy helps you understand and change these patterns.
5. Past Trauma Still Affects Your Present
What this looks like:
Flashbacks or intrusive memories
Avoiding people, places, or situations that remind you of past events
Hypervigilance or feeling constantly on edge
Difficulty trusting others
Emotional numbness or disconnection
Nightmares or sleep disturbances related to past experiences
Why it matters:
Trauma doesn't heal just because time passes. It needs to be processed. Trauma-informed therapy can help you work through past experiences so they stop controlling your present.
6. You're Experiencing Physical Symptoms Without Medical Cause
What this looks like:
Chronic headaches or migraines
Digestive issues with no clear cause
Muscle tension or pain
Fatigue despite adequate sleep
Chest tightness or difficulty breathing
Frequent illness
Why it matters:
The mind-body connection is real. Unaddressed stress, anxiety, and emotional pain often manifest physically. Once medical causes are ruled out, therapy addresses the psychological factors.
7. You're Feeling Stuck or Lost
What this looks like:
No sense of direction or purpose
Feeling like you're going through the motions
Questioning major life choices (career, relationship, etc.)
Feeling disconnected from yourself
Not recognizing who you've become
Wanting change but not knowing how
Why it matters:
Feeling stuck often means you've outgrown old patterns or beliefs but haven't developed new ones. Therapy provides space to explore who you are and what you actually want.
8. Anxiety Is Running Your Life
What this looks like:
Constant worry that's hard to control
Racing thoughts that won't quiet
Avoiding situations due to anxiety
Physical symptoms (rapid heartbeat, sweating, shaking)
Panic attacks
Difficulty sleeping due to anxious thoughts
Overthinking every decision
Why it matters:
Anxiety disorders are highly treatable with therapy. You don't have to live with constant worry and fear. Evidence-based approaches like CBT and ACT can significantly reduce anxiety symptoms.
9. You're Experiencing Major Life Transitions
What this looks like:
Becoming a parent
Relationship changes (marriage, divorce, breakup)
Career transitions or job loss
Moving to a new place
Loss of a loved one
Health diagnosis
Retirement or empty nest
Why it matters:
Even positive changes are stressful. Therapy provides support and tools to navigate transitions without falling apart. You don't have to wait until you're struggling—proactive support prevents crisis.
10. People You Trust Have Suggested Therapy
What this looks like:
Friends or family expressing concern
Partner saying they're worried about you
Someone mentioning you seem different lately
Multiple people suggesting you talk to someone
Why it matters:
Sometimes others see what we can't. If people who care about you are expressing concern, it's worth listening. They're seeing something you might be minimizing.
11. You Can't Stop Thinking About the Past
What this looks like:
Ruminating on past mistakes or regrets
Constantly replaying conversations or events
Unable to forgive yourself for past actions
Stuck in "what if" thinking
Comparing present to past constantly
Feeling bitter or resentful about past experiences
Why it matters:
Being unable to move forward from the past indicates unprocessed experiences or unresolved feelings. Therapy helps you process, make meaning, and find peace.
12. Nothing You've Tried Has Helped
What this looks like:
Reading self-help books but still struggling
Trying meditation, exercise, journaling—nothing sticks
Friends' advice isn't helping
Feeling like you should be able to fix this yourself but can't
Same problems recurring despite your efforts
Why it matters:
Sometimes the patterns are too deep or complex to address alone. Professional support provides tools, insight, and accountability that self-help can't. There's no shame in needing help with hard things.
Common Reasons People Delay Therapy (And Why They're Myths)
"I should be able to handle this myself"
The reality: Humans are relational beings. We're not designed to navigate everything alone. Therapy isn't weakness—it's wisdom.
"Therapy is too expensive"
The reality: The cost of NOT addressing your mental health—lost productivity, relationship breakdowns, physical health issues, years of suffering—is far higher. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees, and some private health insurance covers therapy.
"I don't have time"
The reality: You're spending time worrying, struggling, and managing symptoms anyway. Therapy is an investment that creates more time and energy in the long run.
"What will people think?"
The reality: More people are in therapy than you realize—they just don't announce it. Seeking help is increasingly normalized and respected.
"I don't want to take medication"
The reality: Therapy doesn't automatically mean medication. Many people manage mental health through therapy alone. And if medication is helpful, that's okay too—but it's not mandatory.
"I'm worried about being judged"
The reality: Good therapists create non-judgmental spaces. That's literally our job. You can share things you can't tell anyone else without fear of judgment.
"I don't know what I'd even talk about"
The reality: That's normal! Your therapist will help guide conversations. You don't need to have it all figured out before you start.
"What if it doesn't work?"
The reality: Therapy effectiveness depends on fit between therapist and client, the approach used, and your engagement. If one therapist or approach doesn't work, trying another is completely valid.
What Happens in Therapy?
If you've never been to therapy, here's what to expect:
First session:
Getting to know each other
Discussing what brings you to therapy
Exploring your history and current struggles
Collaborative goal-setting
Explaining how therapy works
Answering your questions
Ongoing sessions:
Exploring patterns, beliefs, and experiences
Processing emotions and past events
Developing coping strategies
Practicing new behaviors
Building self-awareness
Working through obstacles as they arise
What therapy is NOT:
Someone telling you what to do
Lying on a couch talking about your mother (unless you want to!)
A quick fix or magic solution
Judgment or criticism
Passive—you're an active participant
What therapy IS:
A collaborative relationship
A safe space to explore and be yourself
Evidence-based approaches tailored to your needs
Support through difficult experiences
Tools and insights for lasting change
Different Types of Therapy for Different Needs
Not all therapy is the same. Here's what different approaches help with:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Best for anxiety, depression, specific phobias, panic. Focuses on thoughts and behaviors.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):
Best for anxiety, chronic pain, living with difficult emotions. Focuses on acceptance and values.
Psychodynamic Therapy:
Best for relationship patterns, self-understanding, long-standing issues. Focuses on unconscious patterns and past influences.
Narrative Therapy:
Best for identity issues, life transitions, rewriting your story. Focuses on the stories you tell about yourself.
Trauma-Focused Therapy:
Best for PTSD, trauma, difficult past experiences. Focuses on processing traumatic memories safely.
As an integrative therapist, I draw from multiple approaches based on YOUR specific needs.
How to Take the First Step
Ready to start therapy? Here's how:
1. Acknowledge you deserve support
You don't have to be "bad enough." If you're struggling, that's enough.
2. Research therapists
Look for therapists specializing in your concerns. Read profiles, check websites, see who resonates.
3. Book a consultation
Many therapists (including me) offer free 15-minute consultations. This helps you see if you're a good fit.
4. Prepare for your first session
Think about what you want to address, but don't overthink it. Your therapist will guide you.
5. Give it time
It usually takes 3-5 sessions to feel comfortable and start seeing benefits. Don't give up after one session.
6. Be honest
The more honest you are, the more helpful therapy will be. Your therapist can't read your mind.
7. Be patient with yourself
Change takes time. Progress isn't linear. That's normal and okay.
What to Look for in a Therapist
Finding the right therapist matters. Look for:
✓ Proper qualifications and registration
✓ Experience with your specific concerns
✓ An approach that resonates with you
✓ Someone you feel comfortable with
✓ Clear communication about fees, availability, and process
✓ Non-judgmental, warm presence
✓ Willingness to answer questions
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it's okay to try a different therapist.
When to Seek Therapy in Elsternwick, Malvern East & Beyond
Whether you're local to Elsternwick and Malvern East or anywhere in Australia (via telehealth), therapy is accessible.
Consider starting therapy if:
Any of the 12 signs above resonate
You're curious about yourself and want to grow
You're navigating something difficult
You want to break patterns
You're feeling stuck, anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed
You simply want support
You don't need to wait for crisis. You don't need permission. You don't need to be "bad enough."
You just need to be ready to invest in yourself.
The Bottom Line: You Deserve Support
Here's what I want you to know:
Seeking therapy isn't weakness—it's strength. It takes courage to admit you're struggling and ask for help.
You don't have to have a diagnosis or be in crisis to deserve therapy.
You don't have to figure everything out alone.
Your mental health matters as much as your physical health.
Waiting for things to get worse before seeking help means suffering unnecessarily.
Therapy works. It truly does. But only if you actually start.
If you've been wondering whether you need therapy, the answer is probably yes.
And that's okay. That's actually really brave.
Ready to Start?
I'm Indi Bruch, an integrative psychotherapist in Elsternwick and Malvern East (also offering telehealth across Australia). I help people navigate anxiety, depression, relationship patterns, trauma, life transitions, and the complex emotional challenges of being human.
What you can expect:
A free 15-minute consultation to see if we're a good fit
Trauma-informed, non-judgmental care
Flexible approach tailored to YOUR needs
Both in-person and online options
Evening and weekend appointments available
I'm currently accepting new clients.
If any of this resonated with you, let's talk. You don't have to keep struggling alone.
📧 Book your free consultation: www.indibruch.com.au
Taking the first step is the hardest part. But you're worth it.
